I’m trapped. All of my failures have caught up to me and I am stuck.
My day-to-day is full of nothing and I can’t break the routine.
Society would call me either lazy or a loner or shy, but the truth is I’m being held against my will by my own mind and body.
I want out. I want to wake up each morning with a smile and have a good day.
I want to live. I want to travel and meet people, create memories and experiences I’ll hold dear for the rest of my life.
I want adventure. Excitement.
But I also want stability. Comfort. Home.
I want meaning. I want to change my life and change someone else’s. I want to take risks and not be so afraid of failing. I already regret so much.
All of these wants I’m not sure I’ll ever have…I’m still finding the courage, and I’m afraid that bravery doesn’t come naturally to me.
From my art journal – “I Feel So” by Box Car Racer, always there for me in my angsty moments.