April 17th 2016. A day I won’t forget – can’t forget.
Today marks one year since my last suicide attempt.
On this day in 2016 I swallowed a cocktail of pills, slit wrists. And I was saved by two friends.
Life has changed in so many ways since that day. Some for better, some for not. And some things are exactly the same. It’s crazy thinking back on what I’ve been through in just a year. So much. Too much, at times. I look different now, in a very noticeable way if you know me. Last year I was already fading fast and it’s all taken its toll on me, both physically and emotionally.
Heartbreak and betrayal. Successes and failures. Friends found and lost. Illnesses and surgery. Abandonment.
So many ups and downs.
I’m still just a fragile girl, a scared girl, lost and unsure. Loneliness is still my closest friend, but I’m moving forward in life. I’m making things happen. Things I never would have thought possible on this day last year.
A year ago today I gave up on life. But I’m still here. I wanted it all to end but two amazing people saved me that day, and I found hope. I’m still here.